什么平安夜？在我记忆里。。。 记得妈妈说过。。平安夜是祝福，祝贺大家。。 给大家一个新希望的一天。。。 今天的欧文发现。。。 原来。。。 妈妈是骗人的。。。今天拿了成绩。。。 因为不理想。。。 被骂了。。甚至。。。 被否认我是他女儿。。。 说气话。。我能谅解。。。 一次是气话，两次是气话。。三次呢？据说是认真的吧？？我不知道我该怎么办好。。。 我知道我成绩不理想。。。 我该骂。。 但。。我的努力。。。 他们看到吗？？？我乱了。。。 好像就这样走掉。。。 让他们忘了我。。。 或许。。。 我会好过一些。。。 痛了，哭了，累了。。。 我该怎么办？？我痛苦。。无所谓。。。 但。。。 如果我这样一走。。。 父母会开心。。。 那我宁可就这样走掉。。。 消失在他们面前。。。 甚至要我小时在这世上。。。 我也愿意。。 只要他们开心。。。 我就满足了。。。

妈，对不起。。。 请你原谅我。。。 我。。。。 知错了。。。

我真的受够了。。。 可以不要再逼我了吗？？我真的乱了。。。 我不再是我自己了。。。


坏崩溃了。。 疯了！！

i cried... cried for my result..although is not good... but... i do satisfied.. 1st .. coz no fail... 2nd coz even my sj n geo can pass... but ... the thing is ... my mom.... she scolded me like hell.. and at the time i cannot stand..i commited myselef.... but ...failed... coz.. i remember what i promise someone... i stopped...

i cried...to forget everything..i make myself busy... cleaning the toilet... washing my clothes... and even clean up my room..

but everytime i think back... my tears roll down naturally..

i can accept anyone to nit satusfy my result.... but even my parents... they COMPARE result with others... i hate ths happen coz my mom told everyone before.. result compare to our own is enough and yet.... ahe compare mine(HER DAUGHTER)to a cousin of mine!!! i hate! i depressed!i give up myself! and from now... Ｉ＇Ｍ　ＮＯＴ MYSELF 。。。

i found that i lied myself.. i lied to everyone... i pretend i'm not worrying fo rmy PMR result... i laughed,i smiled, i joked... buit i failed to lie my mind...i can't take it for gruanted... went out with cousins .. just to forget my worries... telling everyone ＮＯ　ＷＯＲＲＩＥＳ　but i lied... sorry to myself... i did my best ... i tried my best... i studied for my PMR... but...i'm really affraid.. that i'll loose .... losse to myself.... i can't blame others... cause is my fault.. sometimes... i worry bout tomorrow .. hopping tomorrow will not arrive... but.. time can't stop.. except.... i die... but ...i'm not willing to die for this minor problem... i hate pretending ... it not even myself...but.. i don't want anyone to worry ... major of my friend send the same message to me ... hey ..pmr result only , spm more important don't think too much la ya...and i was like... no worries la .... PMR only... i can take it ... don't worry.. .. but ... i seems to lied... again and again... haizz....what can i do ?? teh only hope now is .. hope miracal happens... luck come towards me... give me some conffident...


sorry to kiat wei if i get a bad result ... i failed my promise .. hope you won't mind.. but.. i'll try my best to get a outstanding result for my coming test and SPM...i promise what i say... sorry ....



to friends who worry and concern bout me.. thanks too......


i'll try to over come myself..NO WORRIES...I THINK~